Inner child is a psychological term, the child like concept of our personality and emotional state. This child part emerges in our life when we are faced with stressful, problematic and traumatic situations. For e.g. you had a minor disagreement with your partner or parents, and you feel deeply hurt and abandoned or rejected.
The belief is that we all have an inner child part- a young vulnerable part. This part carries all the hurt, trauma and painful memories from our past. In schema therapy, this young part is called the Vulnerable Child – and is the focus of therapy. The idea is that if we can heal this part then we feel calm, content, happy, stronger and more at peace.
I heard and it resonated with me a lot “healing is so hard because it is a constant battle between your inner child who is scared and just wants safety, your inner teenager who is angry and just wants justice and current yourself-who is tired and just wants peace”.
In Schema therapy, there are many ways to heal these young, traumatised parts of you. One way is through the relationship between you and your therapist – this is a crucial attachment relationship. Your therapist plays a vital role of being a “healthy adult” and help you to meet your core unmet needs through validation and empathy called limited reparenting.
As part of healing processing, acknowledging the inner child means treating him or her with respect and love. You can say, “I love you,” “I hear you,” “you are important”, “I’m sorry you feel this way,” and “Thank you for being you.” In Schema therapy-mode works and imagery works are important. Listening to and communicating with the inner child, whether on a piece of paper or during your therapy session, is crucial for transformation to happen.
Remember healing is not erasing or getting rid of your pain or past, it is learning to support the part of you that carries the pain.